Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
