I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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