I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
