We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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