Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
