At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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