Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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