Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
