I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
