So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I will be naked everywhere
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
