You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
