Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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