I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
