Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize