You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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