WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
