I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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