from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Pants are for mortals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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