Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
