I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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