was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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