He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
