I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
