I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
