lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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