I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
