me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
do nipples grow back?
Randomize