I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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