no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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