I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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