I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
