ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
