Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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