i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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