im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
