Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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