i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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