she looked like the before picture.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
