He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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