maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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