you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
