Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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