Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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