Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this boner is exhausting
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
