are you still at the devil's house?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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