I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I would ride that face into the sunset
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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