I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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