He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
