garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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