i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
