So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize