what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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