I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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