I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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