If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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