i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
