I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
