He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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