well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
