Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
